Sunday, February 16, 2014

The secret to wellness

I can't really put my finger on it but... something is different. SomeTHING has changed.

No more tears greeting me in the morning or sending me to bed at night. 
No more trips to the gym that last four hours or more.
No more "ugly talks" with myself at every turn. 
No more 100%-dependency on compression socks.
No more hiding. 
No more screaming. 
No more "I can't". 
No more "I won't".
No more mind games. 
No more days spent tucked under the covers in bed, crawled up in a ball, sobbing my eyes out from the bodily pain.
No more pain pills, not that I ever took them anyway; now I don't even acknowledge their existence. 
No more ridiculous ultimatums. 
No more "limitations"; these dietary/lifestyle restrictions give me access to my FREEDOM.

I can't tell you I'm certain I killed all the bugs.
I can't tell you I'm completely pain/fatigue-free. 
I can't tell you I'm certain this isn't all from an autoimmune disease in ACTUALITY, not just the Lyme. 
I can't tell you I'm certain that this cycle will ever end & that I'll be able to eat freely. 
I don't have all the answers. 
I'm still looking but I'm no longer fixated on finding these truths.
I'm still doing everything in my power to get WELL but I'm living my life in the meantime. 

❤School.
❤Part-time work.
❤A relationship.
❤Cooking.
❤Baking.
❤Bracelet-making.
❤Internship applications 
at zoos. 
❤College applications for this Fall. 
❤Friday movie-nights.
❤A quick dip in the swimming pool. 
❤Coming across GLUTEN-FREE 
lip balm. 
❤Singing in the car along with my 
favorite tunes. 
❤Texting all my cousins to say 
"I LOVE YOU". 
❤Skyping with my friends in 
Germany & Australia. 
❤Sending a letter to someone like we 
used to in the 
old days pre-TECHNOLOGY OVERLOAD. 
❤Going for a walk. 
❤Trying to cook rice & failing 
multiple times. 
❤Wiping the snow off of my fuzzy 
little pooch's paws. 
❤Lying on my red-checked couch. 
❤Getting giggly over my 
electric toothbrush.

These things are just as, if not MORE, important than the nutritional/supplemental side of healing. Without these, you have nothing. Wellness is a combination of proper nutrition, vitamins (if necessary & tolerated), AND a colorful life with laughter & hiccups & burnt rice.  

If you have boundaries you aren't comfortable crossing yet, that's fine!! Stick with what you know. 
If that means a strict version of the SCD, go for it! 
If you're ready to step out of your comfort zone but you still want to adhere to the SCD,
try going online & searching Comfy Belly!!!! She has some positively FABULOUS SCD recipes you will love!!! 

You just have to find ways to cope. That's the bottom line. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I was in pain as I wrote this post. But instead of focusing on the pain, I'm wearing my favorite pair of pajama pants & I'm blasting Justin Timberlake throughout the house. 
☞You gotta learn how to cope.☜
Do whatever it takes. 
That's the secret to wellness.
If it means taking a nap, do it. 
If it means painting your toes & preparing for summer, do it. 
If it means taking a hot Epsom salt bath three days a week, do it. 
This DOES NOT go away over night. 
SO, find a way to live your life around these limitations. 
Don't stop living while you're waiting for your body to heal. Do them together. 
HEAL AND LIVE AT THE SAME TIME.  
We're halfway through February already. It's not too late to start LIVING. 
Start today. 
DO IT TODAY. 
Add a new paint brush to your repertoire. 
Throw in some new flashy colors. 
Try painting a landscape instead of the bowl of fruit on your dining room table. 
Go outside of your bubble. 
It's scary in the beginning but worth it in the end. 

❤,
Allie

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